Aim for the moon, because even if you miss you'll land in the vacuum of space and die a rather quick, painful death as your blood essentially boils.

Best. Title. Ever. EVER.

I've been in quite the funk for about a week now. It's not like me to be depressed, or even sad in the slightest of ways. I usually go from happy to pissed and skip the doldrums altogether. In fact, my little motto is "I don't do sadness, not even a little bit. I just don't need it in my life. I don't want any part of it.". It's from Spring Awakening, yeah be jealous. I figure the best way to get out of this little rut of a life is to set goals for myself. Nothing too extreme, just things to which if I were to put my mind I could actually achieve.

So here is what I deem a very doable list of things that need doing and/or things that should have been done a long time ago and that I'm finally getting around to doing.

1) Get myself some job.

2) Get myself some car.

3) Stop using the turn of phrase "get myself some" unless I'm actually going to "get myself some".

4) Move out.

5) Lose 50 lbs before I start school back up.

6) Start school back up

7) Broaden my culinary horizons by foraying into the realms of cheese making and meat curing.

8) Go to another country.

I think that that list is reasonable. Si, se puede. Maybe if I feel like I'm accomplishing something I'll feel better. Adapt and overcome. WWGRD? Why do you have so many positive sayings to make you feel better? Why are you speaking in third person all of a sudden? Why are you so damn sexy? Why not, people? Why not?

Music for the Moment- "Light"

I feel like I talk about music a lot, but I love music. So...cope. That's what I'm doing. In fact, that's what I'm trying to do. I use music to help me cope with life, and I feel like that's what I need to be doing right now. Friday-Sadness. Saturday-Hope. Sunday-Recovery. Today-Back to sadness, a little bit.

Today is the first day of term for my former fellow culinarians. I'm sitting at home doing some housework, listening to a lot of music, and trying to find me some job. I recently procured (through completely legal means) a copy of the soundtrack to Next to Normal. It's helping get through this time. I figure this is a healthier coping mechanism than, say, alcohol.

I can relate to this musical, which is why I love it so much. It's about a family coping with a mother's craziness after her son dies. He dies as an infant but she entertains delusions of his existence sixteen years later. She eventually tries to commit suicide and we follow her through her and her family's recoveries. I relate to this musical inasmuch as my younger brother died and my mom never fully recovered. She has attempted suicide more times than I can count through various means. She's a little crazy, but I love her anyway.

This song is the finale. I've listened to it a million times. This song just says a lot of things that I can't.

"Light" - Next to Normal

We need some light.
First of all, we need some light.
You can't sit here in the dark.
And all alone, it's a sorry sight.
It's just you and me.
We'll live, you'll see.

Night after night,
We'd sit and wait for the morning light.
But we've waited far too long,
For all that's wrong to be made right.

Day after day,
Wishing all our cares away.
Trying to fight the things we feel,
But some hurts never heal.
Some ghost are never gone,
But we go on,
We still go on.

And you find some way to survive
And you find out you don't have to be happy at all,
To be happier alive.

Day after day,
Give me clouds, and rain and gray.
Give me pain, if that's what's real.
It's the price we pay to feel.
The price of love is loss,
But still we pay.
We love anyway.

And when the night has finally gone.
And when we see the new day dawn.
We'll wonder how we wandered for so long, so blind.
The wasted world we thought we knew,
The light will make it look brand new.
So

Let it
Let it
Let it
Let it
Let it
Shine, shine, shine.

Day after day (day after day),
We'll find the will to find our way.
Knowing that the darkest skies will someday see the sun.
When our long night is done,
There will be light.

(There will be light.
There will be light.)

There will be light.
When we open up our lives.
Sons and daughters, husbands, wives.
Can fight that fight.
There will be light.
There will be light.
There will be light.
There will be light.

I feel like this song is going to keep me sane, and if I've learned anything from this musical it's that sanity is a good thing.