Sunday, April 3, 2011

Title Goes Here

My papaw is in the hospital. He has congestive heart failure. I'm having self esteem and self worth issues. I feel like no one ever listens when I talk. I'm in love with a person who's completely oblivious to the fact that I'm even here. That love makes me hate myself. I feel lost. My wheels are spinning in place. I'm going nowhere fast. I don't know which is more scary: success or failure. I don't know how I could possibly mess my life up any more. I'm on the verge of tears all of the time. I'm afraid of things that shouldn't even be problems. I saw my friend curl up comfortably into a ball under a hoodie of mine all the while having extra space and I didn't eat for two days. Even now the thought is enough for me to skip a solid meal or two. I keep thinking about my Aunt Joy and how I can't stand to lose anyone else in my family right now. I don't know how I could handle it. I'm frustrated and disappointed constantly with those closest to me. I want to punch something. These are the things I'm feeling and this is the only way they'll come out. Yay, prose.