After the last post I figured that I better gay this blog up, drape some garland from the buttresses and shit some glitter. Following is the list of men to whom I would gladly do dirty things. The list is mainly comprised of singers/actors, with the exception of one journalist. Once again, apparently your boneability is directly linked to your vocal ability. It's also worth mentioning that three of the five play Mark in "RENT" at some point in their career. I'm so cool. Apparently I just want men to sing to me. And then put it in. What? One more thing, it turns out that they're all gay. That's very important to me. They have to be gay. Or drunk. Same thing.
5. Anthony Rapp- The original Mark. I just really love his voice. He also played Charlie Brown in "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown". Wait, does that make me a pedophile? Sweet. I've got candy kids, I've got candy.
4. NPH- Also a Mark. Look at him, he's adorable. That and he decapitated himself on Ellen. Youtube it. It happened.
3.Adam Kantor- Yet another Mark. Maybe it's the character. I mean, every time that I see RENT my pants do seem to get a little bit smaller. Yeah, that happened. Also when I downloaded this picture it was under "Jews to watch for". I would do so many things to his salty Matzo Balls. I went there. Is anyone surprised?
2.Anderson Cooper- He's new to the team. Well, not really. We've been waiting for him to come out for a very long time, and by "we" I mean myself and the idol I keep of him made out of chewed gum and used tissues. It's under my bed...for now.
1.Daniel Boys- He's a British musical theater actor that was most recently seen playing Princeton/Rod in "Avenue Q" on the West End. Lets just say this: He's welcome on my West End anytime. (For those of you not in the know the West End is the British equivalent to Broadway...and a not so subtle euphemism for my anus.)
I've just decided that I should probably stop writing posts like this. I have a lot of pent up sexual energy. For Christ's sake you would too if you were a 21 year old gay virgin waiting for the "right" gay. Yeah, I typed gay. I meant to. Don't be jealous. Right now I feel like I'm rambling. Four cups of coffee makes me crazy. I'm just going to go call Erratic. Gayest post ever? I think so.
1. The first guy was the one I saw in Rent, I think. It was a long time ago. And I was probably drunk.
ReplyDelete2. I died a little the day NPH officially left my team. I pretend it didn't happen. Or that maybe I could turn him straight? Yeah, I just became THAT fag hag.
3. You can't take Anderson Cooper. I won't let it happen.
4. I don't know who the other two are. These numbers were fairly unrelated to the blog post.
You're awesome and I'm drunk.
Did you stalk the shows I've seen recently? Because RENT was one of them. And it was the original Mark. And he was adorable. And the show made me cry, as RENT ALWAYS does. Love Angel. And I'm going to see Avenue Q over the summer. Creepy.
ReplyDeleteAlso, what's holding together those Anderson Cooper tissues besides gum, hmmmm? :)
Bradshaw, I think you know what's holding those tissues together.
ReplyDeleteBoth of you are horrible people for having seen the original Mark in RENT. I'm pissed and I hate you both. Well, maybe not hate. Nope, it's hate. (I love how I just argued with myself.)
And I also just realized that Daniel Boys played Mark as well. Wow. Four out of five.
ReplyDeleteHA! I knew it. Dirty.
ReplyDeleteAnd you don't hate us. Well, maybe Erratic, but you REALLY know her. You don't know me yet. :)